Wednesday, August 27, 2008

things are not going well....

now blogging at 6am early in the morning because
1. yesterday night i was so busy until i had no time and suddenly could control my emotion till this morning to blog.
2. the internet connection at this time in my room is way way better

so what happen to me yesterday??? a series of unfortunate events took place in my life.... 1st of all in the morning i got the most shocking news.... i eventually failed in my test1 for MATHS.... why is it shocking???? this is actually the first paper that i sat for after entering university.... and maths was actually my strong subject too... although on the day of exam i did it in a hurry due to coming late for exam after hearing some bad news from the doctor... but i still feel tat i could answer half of the questions.... and i just got a miserable 2.9 out of 10... the whole class except for 7 students(highest is 6.8)failed in this exam while i wonder what went wrong....

and then i recalled what the doctor told me that day.... the doctor told me that all the medication was not working and most probably the dangerous medication i'm taking now wont work too... my kidney will failed me within 10 years... how pathetic my life is... i dont want to suffer so much in my life... but what can i do to change it???

then later in the evening i got my 2nd bad news... i've just received my rejection letter from RWB.... all of my friends gotten the scholarship except me... i dunno because i'm really not good enough or because i'm a handicapped person... i do hope its not because the 2nd reason... i got left out again...... so sad.... :(

then after eating dinner with my coursemate... i 'ter'saw the girl i wanted to court walking two by two with a guy to the bus stop... this started to make me envy that guy... i never in my life walked two by two with a girl in my life before except for my ex gf....

why god have to take away all the things i wanted... i dont mind him making me single for so long... i dont mind him making me sick..... but now he is also taking away the one thing i feel i'm quite good at which is in my studies... i do admit i'm not the best but at least i'm still always satisfied with my results all along... Things really is not going well since the july of 2007 till now..... when is my life going to change????????????


PLEASE HELP ME...... :( desperate for help....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hey i feel the same way as you. I've never had another person in my life all my friends are all happy in a relationship. i stuffed up most my exams and by the way i stuffed up in maths ( which was my strongest subject). i wonder at times what really is the point of all this, why does god allow these negative feelings to enter me, but i guess the only way out is to fight it! if you let all these negative feelings swamp you . happinese can never reach you! i'm in an unhappy state as well, but i believe if i bare with it i can travel through it and it would alright soon.