today.....

woke up early in the morning again just to finish my tutorial assignments and lab report... have to pass them up today... then afterwards i have to finish my lab as soon as possible as i have to rush to admit myself to the hospital... need to get my monthly dose of iv medication... sure wont be feeling so well after receiving it as its a kind of kemotherapy.... mostly will miss my 5-7 class which is titas.... hopefully i wont get left behind too much.... keeping fingers crossed....

photos of pesta tanglung

here are the photos that i promised...

things are not going well....

now blogging at 6am early in the morning because
1. yesterday night i was so busy until i had no time and suddenly could control my emotion till this morning to blog.
2. the internet connection at this time in my room is way way better

so what happen to me yesterday??? a series of unfortunate events took place in my life.... 1st of all in the morning i got the most shocking news.... i eventually failed in my test1 for MATHS.... why is it shocking???? this is actually the first paper that i sat for after entering university.... and maths was actually my strong subject too... although on the day of exam i did it in a hurry due to coming late for exam after hearing some bad news from the doctor... but i still feel tat i could answer half of the questions.... and i just got a miserable 2.9 out of 10... the whole class except for 7 students(highest is 6.8)failed in this exam while i wonder what went wrong....

and then i recalled what the doctor told me that day.... the doctor told me that all the medication was not working and most probably the dangerous medication i'm taking now wont work too... my kidney will failed me within 10 years... how pathetic my life is... i dont want to suffer so much in my life... but what can i do to change it???

then later in the evening i got my 2nd bad news... i've just received my rejection letter from RWB.... all of my friends gotten the scholarship except me... i dunno because i'm really not good enough or because i'm a handicapped person... i do hope its not because the 2nd reason... i got left out again...... so sad.... :(

then after eating dinner with my coursemate... i 'ter'saw the girl i wanted to court walking two by two with a guy to the bus stop... this started to make me envy that guy... i never in my life walked two by two with a girl in my life before except for my ex gf....

why god have to take away all the things i wanted... i dont mind him making me single for so long... i dont mind him making me sick..... but now he is also taking away the one thing i feel i'm quite good at which is in my studies... i do admit i'm not the best but at least i'm still always satisfied with my results all along... Things really is not going well since the july of 2007 till now..... when is my life going to change????????????


PLEASE HELP ME...... :( desperate for help....

yo readers of my blog out there.....

I've been struggling to update my blog as often as possible... now my life is so damn interesting and yet there are things hindering me from blogging.... last time too free and nothing to blog cuz my life tat time was dull as i was stuck at home for practically half a year.... and now the latest news from me...

just organised a pesta tanglung last wednesday and i was 1 of the committee member organising it... guess what group i'm in??? PHOTOGRAPHY.... so practically i got many many nice photos and videos too upload but too bad the internet connection at my kolej sucks(half of the room can get a very weak signal and the other half none at all).... so u get the point lar... only eraly in the wee morning the connection is still berable... so if any1 wants to chat with me... just online at 6am....

and updates on my health... my kidney most probably will kong out within 10 years... as there is no more medicine tat could really control my disease... so practically i should just enjoy my life now before i start to suffer....

next there is really really many nice girls around my campus... but due to my low self esteem i dare not go and get to know them.... which girl would want to know a handicapped guy leh... so looks like i wont be getting any girl friend within this few years.... haiz..... so sad....

so tats all tat i could think off for now... cioaz... will try to upload the photos next week when i'm back home longer during the merdeka holidays... my friends mostly on holiday now... balance me...

updates on me...

well now i'm actually surviving quite well in UPM... now being able to drive in the campus makes my life far far more easier for me... i can finally go anywhere i want without depending on my so called 'driver'.... used my car so far only to go out and eat... as the food here doesnt suit my taste bud and i'm still having a bad sore throat and flu for 2 weeks... its seems it doesnt want to go away.... and tomorrow is my final 2 papers for the test this time.... going to relax a bit after this 2 papers by going to the cinema and watch STAR WARS..... really looking forward to it... i've also been misplacing my stuff these days... really getting all stressed up.... and here are some of the pictures of my EE course night.... enjoy it....

the 1st month in UPM

due to so many events happening in this few weeks i've been too busy to update my blog... so i'm here to say sorry 1st to my readers although i know there are not many of them... so i had my orientation week in UPM and it was quite fun... the seniors din really bully me as i'm 'special'.... and the most funny thing that happen during orientation week is that the day i went to register myself at the university i vomited at the hostel and the people on duty saw that... and they quickly called an ambulance to take me to the clinic in the hospital... how shameful was that... needing an ambulance on the 1st day i arrive at UPM....

after 1 week of orientation everyone started their class including me... so studied for the 1st three days then my leg start to pain and swell like hell... had to control the pain with pain killers and finally went back home on saturday... then on sunday get admitted to hospital le....

on tuesday only got to found out wat was wrong with me by doing an ultrasound test... it seems that i developed deep vain thrombosis... then started on my old medication again which is wafarin.... then stayed in the hospital for another week for monitoring... then my doctor told me that i have start on my old medication which is cyclophosphamide as my medicine now is not responding... i hate that medication because 1st its through IV drip and its actually a kind of kemotherapy... so the side effects u all people should know... that after tat medication i was finally allowed to be discharged...

after 1 and a half week of absence... i had lots of things to catch up... and till now i still couldnt finish my work... as i was too busy... busy with what??? busy with my course night... as i'm the course rep i had to arrange all the performance on that day... and i myself did a small yoyo performance... will try to update some photos on the course night if possible next time... as the wifi in my room now is so darn weak....

and now this week i'm suppose to prepare for my test 1 as exams are starting this week... how am i gonna pass the test when i cant even catch up... oh GOD please help me!!!!!!